Herman and I Are Down for the Count

They say that sleeping for long periods of time is an example of being depressed. Well I can't drag myself out of bed before 1PM most days. It doesn't bother my dog Herman at all because he's adopted my schedule and sleeps as long as I do. The thing is that it's his sleeping so long that bother's me. A dog shouldn't sleep so long. Even if he's just out on the backyard run he shouldn't sleep so long but he wants to be where I am and I'm in bed. I haven't left the house in a week, sometimes two weeks if I don't have a doctor's appointment. Someone asked me what terrible thing would happen if I left the house and I said someone might recognize me and ask what I'm doing these days or ask how I am. I couldn't bear saying I'm doing absolutely nothing. I can think of things I could or should do but I'm not. It takes too damn much energy to even get dressed. In part I'm on a new anti-depressant which makes me sleepy but I'm supposed to reach a point of adjustment. I sound so self-pitying I don't think I could stand to read this if someone else was writing it. But even if it was 1pm I did get up and a therapist once said never under estimate the importance of just getting up. So I did manage to face another day. I'm hoping that I'm getting better bit by bit and just can't see it.